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I am trying my very best to blog more often. It ensures I take a few minutes out and it gives me a chance to process things. I do often blog and not publish- one of the aspects of being a vicar is that there are things I would love to blog that I simply can’t publish here!
This week is not an easy week so I’ll resort to good ole Rev’d Jones!
Hours Slept: Well I had a full night’s sleep since the baby was born so today I have no gripes at all….we’ll see if it lasts though!
Hours worked: Lost count this week, at the desk at 8.15 and still at it at 11.30p.m. and the pile of work is growing as fast as I complete things.
Alcohol: NONE (!) but that is certainly not for the temptation. I nearly grabbed the gin last night…must buy tonic.
Chocolate: too much demolished. comfort eating. I really need to get my bike out or join a Gym or something.
Prayer: daily- though I don’t feel it’s really ‘working’ right now. This place has so much hussle and bussle about it (and that’s great!) but I clearly need to find ways of talking with God without space and quiet (only get one retreat a year!).
Issues this week: funerals funerals funerals, finances, prayer, age, space…..
Being a vicaris a lonely life really. Friendship isn’t the same (and we moved a long way from our support networks- missing you all so so much this week 
) and it’s hard to know whether you are doing alright or not. So I am in a pretty down spot. Ugh! I hate feeling a bit down- part of being an optimist. Must go and pray with collegues…..
Alcohol: Cupboard in the new house is far too low. Bottle of Gin unpacked and erm packed into the glass recycling. Must do better- don’t buy anymore Gin.
Sleep: too much…transition and a new house on a main, busy road (therefore noisy) what more can I say?
Money spent: lots…but new house is feeling all the better for it and I have a spacious fridge to fill with cake, cheese and chocolate!!
Move has gone well, if a little stressful. I can conclude that one must be seriously mad to consider moving house with 3 children under 5. I certainly need to plan for an extra box next move- or maybe we should fill the roofbox with comfort food next time.
I should be working…
Hours in prayer: a few but probably not the kind that thebig boss wants to hear.
Chocolate Count: it doesn’t count if it is 70% + cocoa Solids and fair trade/organic does it? (it is an anti-detoxant therefore!)
Alcohol: Well, I’m not drinking any but does putting 2 glasses at a time into every nights meal count? I am trying to run the open boxes empty before we move house!
Hours spent in fervent prayer: several but I am not sure that putting the world to rights is exactly the best development of my spiritual life and relationship with God.
Sleep: wondering if children can learn to wait for an alarm clock in the morning?
Money spent:none- well nothing more than essential. feeling saintly- or my bank account is anyway!
We move in three weeks time and I am beginning to feel slightly stressed. My Skywalker is feeling ‘de-mob happy’ already and the kids *need* to be back int school and playgroup as they are exceedingly bored.
How does one transport 2 small goldfish safely? My Skywalker says to flush them down the loo but I think that even fish deserve better treatment than that. Man at ‘petsathome’ said they’d not survive the journey…oh dear. Google says they might if we do the right things so I think we’re going to risk it. Cool box is ready, have straws..just need to go and get some super duper sized bags from the fish shop. Must remember to take pictures of fish in case of escape or……
so far this has been the biggest moving hurdle. That and not being able to sort out the phone….
fingers crossed that these remain the biggest practical hurdles!
So today I recieved 20 invites for my own licensing service (to forward onto friends and family of course). It struck me this evening that I could indeed ring the parish office and confirm my own attendance at the service (and make a short thankyou for lovely invites!). It also intermingles with thoughts about being ‘Blonde’ both physically and mentally as I debate wether to go back to my natural colour (physically). It then degraded into a sniggering match with the 2 of us…late at night, in bed….. here’s how it goes….
Call One
‘Hello. it’s the Reverend Bridget Jones here. I’ve just recieved an invitation to the licensing service in October. I am very sorry but i will be unable to attend the service at St John’s as I will be being licensed myself that evening as vicar of St John’s
(pause)
.
.
.
.
.
oh bugger! It’s my service isn’t it? Oh Crap..I said bugger. Vicar’s don’t say bugger. Oh F*ck, I said crap and bugger
.
.
and f*ck.
.
.
.
)*$&*&$_*^$*)^£$”_(^”£_(*^£$”_(^
.
.
hang up.
Call Two
Hello, it’s Bridget Jones, I’m I’m just phoning to say I’m really really sorry for the language I used in my previous message. I’m aware that it’s not the sort of language you’d expect your vicar to use. In my defence I was taken a bit by surprise. I’d just been sitting down and working through some post with a drink and I hadn’t realised what the invitation was until halfway through the phone call but I’m very sorry and it won’t happen again. thank you. goodbye.
Call Three
Hello answerphone, I would like you to erase the last 2 messages. I know you can do this because my own answerphone does it if I ask it the right way.
(seductive voice )
erase.
.
.
erase.
.
.
(increasingly desperate voice)
this is your new vicar speaking. please erase the last 2 messages.
i command you spirit of Telophony to erase the last 2 messages.
bugger.
hang up.
Call Four
(very proper vicar voice)
Hello, I’m not sure what number this is and I’m sure you’ll think this is a very strange telephone call. My name is the Reverend Bridget Jones and a very strange thing has just happenned to me. I was sitting here in my study when a mad woman (who is blonde and I am not!) rushed in and ran away with my telephone. I believe she may have made a number of confused calls to this number. No doubt picked at random. I have no idea what she may have said whilst in the grip of her madness but I apologise for any distress or confusion that may have resulted from these calls which I had absolutely nothing to do with. I am Reverend Brdiget Jones and this is the first time I have called this number this evening. Thank you very much for your time and I apologies for any inconvienience caused. Goodnight and God bless you lovely people.
Chocolate Count: gaaaaaaaah.
Alcohol: None but I also failed miserably to drink enough water in glorious sunshine at Belsay Hall and have now developed an awful headache.
Hours spent in fervent prayer: Two- Well, I am improving!
Sleep: It was better but I really do find getting up for the 8am Eucharist difficult. Even weirder that I managed it when I was not on duty and under obligation to do it! Feeling extra Holy for my achievement.
Money spent: some but hopefully I’ll get to post a few pictures to illustrate it was £ very well spent.
Despite the ups and downs of the met office weather report this last week today has been a glorious sunny day. We have much enjoyed being at Belsay Hall. Thunderbird one had slight aversion to camera but was pursuaded that camera was alright as long as it was a game of hide and seek. Same child was obviously having a worrying day when he focused on possible presence of dragon in quarry garden and castle. Dragon did not appear. Shame, that would have been interesting!
Got the BBQ out for the first time this year and had lovely meal also. Unfortunately it seems Thunderbird 3’s worrying day may have been because he wasn’t feel so good…2 sets of bedding changed already. ick. Nobody tells you about this part of being a mother.
*sigh*
Chocolate Count: why do resturants (or spa’s) put chocolate puddings on menu’s? do they not realise that Chocolate needs to be in starters, main courses, desserts and of course served with coffee and ones bill. Need i say more? chocolate was neccessary today.
Alcohol: Having been out for meal with group of women and yet again escaped the grasp of Satan, aka been the desingated driver one needed to reward oneself with a small glass of white. Rev’d Skywalker says glasses are ‘enourmous’ so small glass = large portion.
Hours spent in fervent prayer: One- not too little, not enough.
Sleep: Glass of wine helped..wish thunderbird 3 would have some similar assistance. It appears he is trying to teeth, walk and understand the word ‘No!’ all at the same time and is trying to do all of the forementioned 24 hours a day. ugh.
Money spent: more than one has but then the insurance claims should all be through this next week.
Have painted nails and spent wonderful relaxing evening with some friends and friends of friends at Serentity Spa Seaham. Was refreshing to spend time with women without feeling the need to compete and hot spas outdoors in the cold/rain are wonderful. such a shame pre-installed Hot tubs are a) pricey and b) known for reducing the value of ones property hugely.
Was awoken by thundebirds crying after having second helping of breakfast confiscated. Blowing bubbles and spitting food accross table whilst trying to kick each other is not the best illustration that one is still hungry and needs another bowl. Not a good start to the new day. New day proceeded to go downhill when Rev’d Skywalker got all pannicky about removing old sofa bed to the rubbish disposal centre. I wonder why it is that he simply can’t feel comfortable doing something like this and would rather I did it. Sometimes I think he’d rather I did everything myself. ugh. After much huffing and puffing it was done (I have no idea what Skywalker thinks the huffing will achieve) but after Rev;d Skywalker loaded the rubbish into the car I had to drive to the recycle centre and lift the metal and mattress out on my own as he is still nervous of drving the new car. Annoyed at silly man! Need. more. chocolate…raid kids biscuit box and then chastise oneself as a bad mother.
Afternoon tea calls- someone else’s baked cakes, Rev’d Skywalker may put some much needed weight on, children will make mess…maybe there’ll be alcohol present… tea might not be enough.
Chocolate Count: Zero…hurray I am triumphing over the powers of Satan!!
Alcohol: Breastfeeding and cosleeping mean that this vice is well and truly conquored…that and the fact that I can’t reach the alcohol because I am vertically challenged.
Hours spent in fervent prayer: oh dear Lord! I am so embarrased (but it is only 13.38 so there’s time yet)…
Sleep: sleep?
Spent last night worrying about new car. Shiny new silver car which was delivered yesterday following previous house burglary and theft of car keys, car, wonderful designer bag that was a gift to self on being appointed to a new job and the they drove the car like lunatics and wrote it off. Anyway slept would be a joke. Went to bed about midnight. Worried about if I remembered to lock car- got up, car still there, phew. Couldn’t get back to sleep so wrote some correspondance for Back to School, um, I mean Church, Sunday. 2.30am decided must try to sleep. Rev’d Skywalker (my husband and star wars geek) was restless and proceeded to get up and check all possible entrances and exits in and out of the house and locate all sets of keys. Evil Rev’d Skywalker then decided to wake Rev’d Jones and ask about contents of wallet emptied out in search earlier. No chance of sleep now- paranoia all round. Thunderbird 3 (youngest son) then proceeded to pick up on anxiety of parents and be quite wakeful for the rest of the night. *sigh*
had.to.get.out.of.bed to call in and collect some things from the Parish office. Miss Money penny was in good form assisted by Q (it’s M’s day off) and I achieved all in speedy time and made my get away with Thunderbirds 1-3 to b&q.
oh money spent: too much…but that little red bus keyring was just soooo mine after loosing my keyring of 15 years in the burglary.
if you haven’t got it yet this is my attempt to stimulate myself into blogging having just re-read Bridget jones Diary…….
knittingvicar
hobbitvicar
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