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Thanks for asking. Here are a few pictures of them I am trying to develop a watermark for our photos so you may see several variations appear in the next few weeks!
After a good chat with the yahoo girls the other night, where Ec’ing (elimination communication) was a good part of the chat, I gave it a go ( we knew we wanted t make the potty appear sooner and regularly after ds 1’s potty fears). WOW! I held Elias over the potty and said ‘ok you can go pee and poo here if you need to’ and I then made the ‘psssssssss’ noise. He peed- first time!! So far I have offered 4 times (on waking and at nappy changes) and we have had a result 3 out of 4 times. I find I have to reassure him lots and lots so that he knows it is ok to go.. and I have to be careful about aim (!!) but he seems to really like it. Now I just need to learn how to tell when he needs to go – watching for fussyness or stillness etc. I am not sure I can catch poo tho as he only seems to poo whilst sucking on the breast.
I was never convinced about ec’ing personally but having tried it I am converted! We will continue to use nappies here but I will offer the potty when I think he might need to go and at every bum change. who knows… if it makes potty learning easier or makes it earlier that would be fab- either way it can do no harm!!
oh and I know I may sound really ‘crunchy’ but to me this just seems like common sense!!
I may change my mind as you never know if you are speaking too soon but both Mark and I are finding this transition (from 2-3) the easiest one yet. (If you don’t believe me read his blog) A few people have said ‘oh, third’s just fit in cos they have too’ and ‘it’s cos you are experienced and relaxed parents’ but it is perhaps a combination of several things, some of those being about parenting and others about Elias and his temperament so far. I was beginning to feel, before Elias arrived, that this was it for me, 3 princes. Now we are not convinced (shock horror!!) and if it were not for various complexities I could easily have a whole football team!! Again we may feel different in a few months!!! That of course is a more complex decision and at 30 I have a good few years left to decide that one. What I am sure of though is this- Love grows. I do not feel at all that Reuben and Jude ’share us’ or get any less of us with a new baby. Yes there are practical limitations but that is not about somehow denying them their needs. We all learn a new way of being a family and we all build new relationships that include Elias (the boys are both doing fab so far on this). We all grow through this process….
I have adored all of my boys as babies, in fact I love that not only have they brought me so much joy as babies.. but that that seems to just increase as they get older. I feel so very very lucky right now!!
Elias has brought us all so much in just one week… thank you Elias!
Sunday 5th August
Late afternoon we headed off down the Dene with the boys. I was feeling the need to keep active and perhaps a little desperate to encourage the baby downwards before my antenatal appointment on Monday (when I hoped I would get news of further engagement). We caught the end of a very entertaining (old fashioned and NOT politically correct I am afraid!) Punch and Judy show and had ice cream and looked at the visiting animals in pets corner. I felt quite uncomfortable and we walked the long way home (as this is less steep a hill!). When we got home we had tea and bathed the boys and put them to bed. During this whole time I felt really uncomfy and couldn’t sit for long. I knitted for as long as I could sit and we decided maybe we should get to bed where I could lie down. I felt quite shakey and jittery so insisted that Mark put down the plastic in the dinning room, were the pool was set up and I intended to birth. We cut the 10m hose to a sensible size and I even insisted on wiping out the pool with antibacterial stuff. Had a good tidy up everywhere and went to bed.
Monday 6th August
I woke up with ctx that were definately pain (as opposed to just tightennings) and laid in bed for a bit. It was a nice start to the day in some ways as the boys had slept an whole extra hour until 7.30am! Mark and I were feeling calm and collected. Neither of us yet convinced I was going to give birth that day but both knowing that our baby would come within 24 hours. By 9am I had a shower and needed Mark to stand by the shower so I could lean on him during said ctx. At this point I needed to begin using breathing techniques and hypno birthing techniques to manage the contractions they were however still irregular.
9.15am- we decided that we should call people we needed to just to warn them of the situation. (R, V and Mw’s) I knew I wouldn’t make my antenatal appointment that afternoon anyway and felt that touching base with the MW would be sensible at an early stage (I felt this would be slower but was concerned after the speed of my last labour).
9.40am- R arrives followed by mw. Mw does general antenatal checks. Baby measuring 38.5 wks, fully engaged, ctx seem like ‘early labour’ to her. Mw leaves having reassured me that my own instincts are right and to follow them and she said she thought I would have a baby by the next morning for sure!
10.40am- V arrives for the boys and they head out to buy some food from tesco. At this point I was still breathing thru ctx and finding them in creasing in strength- still irregular. They were making me drop to my knees (all fours is a comfortable position when your baby feels like it is lying spine to spine) and I needed to remain focused through them.
12.30pm- boys had had lunch (as have others.. I just ate grapes and drank nettle tea)and I felt I neeed the water for comfort now. So I asked R to ask Mark to fill the pool. My contractions were now very intense and I *think* I told Mark off for trying to talk to me during one!
1.00pm- pool filled and I got in. (boys upstairs asleep)
This bit was quite amazing as I was able to float on my tummy and stretch my legs out behind me. imo this actually sped things up and helped baby to move from op to the ‘right’ position. Still using hypno techniques (turning the pain down and escaping to a safe place I had envisaged in my mind) and took some rescue remedy and arnica. I was starting to need to vocalise the pain a little and did so. R felt that this was a good sign that I was well established and I agreed that we should call the MW.
1.15pm ish- Mark called mw’s. Reuben had wandered downstairs and was talking about crocs right in my ear, I felt distracted so had asked Mark to take him back to V and Jude. Mark tells me now that he went to take Reuben back upstairs but that Reuben wanted to stay and so agreed to be quiet. 1.35ish- As the next ctx came and I got lots of little pulse like urges.. and denied them (that was hard) as I was sure there was no way I would be fully dialated yet, I think I was also possibly worrying about the fact that the mw had not arrived yet. R reminded me to follow my instincts and just go with it. With the next ctx I felt a lot of pulses again and this time decided to let them ‘do their thing’ but not help them jik. This ctx didn’t stop really. It carried on pulsing away until I felt a pop. I said outloud ‘I felt a pop’, R said ‘oh that’s just the waters don’t worry’. I said ‘ I think his head is there’. R said ‘ the waters sometimes feel like the head’ as she was walking to the business end of the pool and then casually said ‘ oh no, it;s a head! It’s half way out…’. R then gently told me when Elias’ head was out (it eased out in 3 pulses). I don’t know for sure but I am sure I didn’t push much myself, Elias’ head was more expelled by my body. The phone rang at this point and we ignored it as we were all focusing on other things- it was the mw saying ‘I am on my way!’. Then all ctx seemed to go away and I gave a gentle push myself and Elias was born. We think he was born at about 1.40pm, but none of us looked at the time, so that is really an estimate.
I was then reminded by R and Mark to turn around and get the baby (who I couldn’t believe had been born) and he floated beautifuly under the water. I gently lifted him up and he screamed for 30 mins!!
Reuben and Mark had watched the whole thing quietly from the ‘business end’ and Reuben was very excited. V brought Jude down shortly after this and he was able to see Elias and give me a quick Hello wave!
I sat in the pool until the mw arrived at about 13.50ish and remained there a little just cuddling Elias, who had a little hat on as I was concerned about his temperature going down. R and Mark also emptied the pool a little and popped some hot water in to help. When the mw arrived Mark greeted here saying ‘the baby is here!’ she was quite surprised (tho not shocked) and came through with a big smile on her face. She commented on it being ’sod’s law’ for her to get to be there for the bit she didn’t like ‘the placenta’ and very much sat back and let me say as and when I wanted to get out of the pool.
The physiological third stage was imo more painful and harder than labour, it took an hour but I managed to keep Elias with me (no cord cutting) until the intact placenta was delivered. I tried sitting, then lying on my side and eventually went up on all fours to find the pain was far worse than the delivery of the placenta!!
Elias wasn’t great at first attempts to feed and slept the rest of the day.. but he then fed all night on and off and has done lots of eating and sleeping since his birth.
As for me- I seriously feel great. Not like I had a baby a few days ago at all. Am completely loosing weight fast and regaining a better shape and loving having a new little man.
We are thrilled to announce that Elias Mark was born yesterday (6.8.07) at 13.40pm. He was born at home in the pool with Mark and Reuben to witness his birth. This was a most peaceful and beautiful experience for us all as a family and we are hugely thankful to Vicki who was on hand and entertaining the boys most of the day, Rebecca who helped maintain an atmosphere of calm and for just being a great person to birth around and my midwife Alison, who trusted me completely to know myself and to do this the way I felt was right for Elias and I. Alison did not make the birth as the second stage was very fast indeed and Elias surprised us all by arriving far faster than anyone could have predicted yet I feel she had given me the confidence to not worry about the lack of midwife at her first visit at 9am (when i was certainly not in established labour) as she reassured me as a ‘multip’ I knew what to do instinctively.
Elias is a very beautiful baby (well I have thought that about all my boys!) and so far he is fitting into the family perfectly!
Elias Mark- 8lb 10oz
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