Holy week this year….

I dare not show you a picture of the real thing- it’s even more frightenning. Next year I hope to be a bit more on top of what I need to do…and of course have delegated a few more things to people I have my (or maybe God has his?) eye on!!

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Conversations in the night…

So today I recieved 20 invites for my own licensing service (to forward onto friends and family of course).  It struck me this evening that I could indeed ring the parish office and confirm my own attendance at the service (and make a short thankyou for lovely invites!).   It also intermingles with thoughts about being ‘Blonde’ both physically and mentally as I debate wether to go back to my natural colour (physically).  It then degraded into a sniggering match with the 2 of us…late at night, in bed….. here’s how it goes….

Call One

‘Hello. it’s the Reverend Bridget Jones here.  I’ve just recieved an invitation to the licensing service in October.  I am very sorry but i will be unable to attend the service at St John’s as I will be being licensed myself that evening as vicar of St John’s

(pause)

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.

.

.

.

oh bugger! It’s my service isn’t it? Oh Crap..I said bugger.  Vicar’s don’t say bugger.  Oh F*ck, I said crap and bugger

.

.

and f*ck.

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.

.

)*$&*&$_*^$*)^£$”_(^”£_(*^£$”_(^

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.

hang up.

Call Two

Hello, it’s Bridget Jones, I’m I’m just phoning to say I’m really really sorry for the language I used in my previous message.  I’m aware that it’s not the sort of language you’d expect your vicar to use.  In my defence I was taken a bit by surprise.  I’d just been sitting down and working through some post with a drink and I hadn’t realised what the invitation was until halfway through the phone call but I’m very sorry and it won’t happen again. thank you.  goodbye.

Call Three

Hello answerphone, I would like you to erase the last 2 messages.  I know you can do this because my own answerphone does it if I ask it the right way.

(seductive voice )

erase.

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.

erase.

.

.

(increasingly desperate voice)

this is your new vicar speaking.  please erase the last 2 messages.

i command you spirit of Telophony to erase the last 2 messages.

bugger.

hang up.

Call Four

(very proper vicar voice)

Hello, I’m not sure what number this is and I’m sure you’ll think this is a very strange telephone call.  My name is the Reverend Bridget Jones and a very strange thing has just happenned to me.  I was sitting here in my study when a mad woman (who is blonde and I am not!) rushed in and ran away with my telephone.  I believe she may have made a number of confused calls to this number. No doubt picked at random.  I have no idea what she may have said whilst in the grip of her madness but I apologise for any distress or confusion that may have resulted from these calls which I had absolutely nothing to do with.  I am Reverend Brdiget Jones and this is the first time I have called this number this evening.  Thank you very much for your time and I apologies for any inconvienience caused. Goodnight and God bless you lovely people.

just for fun

What kind of knitting needles are you?

You are interchangeable.Fun, free, and into everything, you’ve got every eventuality covered and every opportunity just has to be taken. Every fiber is wonderful, and every day is a new beginning. You are good at so many things, it’s amazing, but you can easily lose your place and forget to show up. They have row counters for people like you!
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Birth announcement…….!

Mark, Leah, Reuben and Jude are pleased to announce the birth of……….

Joseph V-S
Yeah you got it, Reuben’s baby came out of his tummy this afternoon. He has already had a beaker of water, bath and poo’d several times. Reuben and Jude are enjoying looking after Joseph. I will add pics of the boys new baby doll asap. On a secondary note why do manufacturers assume that boys don’t do dolls? They were all pink and purple!! We just wanted a gender neutral looking doll that the boys could ‘nurture’. I get so angry that boys are not enable to develop such gifts, let alone by the way society *still* doesn’t expect them too. You only have to look at the pink kettles, toasters, dolls etc to see that we are still ‘programming’ girls that these things are their job, when in essence they don’t have to belong to any gender- just have to be done by whomever it is decided is responsible for the task in that job/home.

I almost thought this was going to be the real thing after a few early labour things happenned to me yesterday… but at the moment I think I was stressed out my an awful midwife appointment and it cause me a bit of painful Braxton Hicks and a bit of a pink show…. well at least it seems to have helped baby to drop a bit and get down and into a good birth position. Hoping to be assigned a new midwife this week (I have made a complaint) and then just get me to 36 weeks and baby can come whenever. I have no idea when it will be this time… late again maybe?

Humour

Mark and I were finishing off the Birth announcement cards last night when we noticed that the stamp and ink tin was covered in magnetic words (they must have escaped inside the craft crate). It was good to have a small chuckle.

We had a day of laughs yesterday as Reuben is now learning NOT to swipe his nose on his sleeves. This entails me holding a tissue over his nose and saying ‘BLOW’ ( he does ask for the tissue/ wipe his nose). Well he only blows about 20% of the time so far- he seems to think snorting his own snot back up is more effective- a bit grim but very very funny and we have to escape to laugh on most occasions (that makes this a daily occurance as Reuben is snot-boy at the moment!).